So here I am with my recording stagnant, most likely unable to retrieve the two songs I have been working on (Update:Turns out I was correct). My production computer’s information has been held hostage with ransomeware, an intelligent virus which bypasses your system login and runs a program impersonating law enforcement in an attempt for you to pay a ‘fine’ with an untraceable ecurrency (ukash). This specific version uses the RCMP as a guise saying you are in possession of illegal information.

The virus essentially becomes your new desktop and if you try to run your computer in safe mode it will turn itself off. There is big money in malware, the Spanish ransomeware ring which just got taken down was making 50,000$ a day.
This situation is quite ironic for myself, I’m positive there all members of ********.

Life gives you lemons,
But sometimes you’ve gotta make a lemonade stand and start a blackhat campaign with the profit, or at least I think thats how it goes.

I haven’t taken codeine for recreational purposes in about half a year now (not true anymore). I forgot the feeling, the warm fuzzy hug which makes you feel like every things going to be okay. Even more important I forgot the sound on codeine, full, rich and thick. Whenever I think of codeine I hear two things in my head,

Bobby Mcferrins improvisation in Montreal http://is.gd/zQcGHh
and James Blakes:The Bells Sketch http://is.gd/wo8fjB

Back on topic, I am just coming out of a deep depression with a large of drug use which was related to my own expectations as an artist and my father leeching off of my mother. I am now using marijuana medicinally at this point and time. Before I was set on my depression/anxiety medication being marijuana I used Cipralex, wellbutrin XL,Amitriptyline, Trazadone and Choloral Hydrate(Fuck). Cipralex and chloral hydrate where horrible as the Cipralex killed any form of emotion I was capable of feeling, this destroyed my music and in turn destroyed me. The latter which I used for insomnia made me hallucinate tall lanky demons.

About halfway through my depression I started using mushrooms until I had a horrible trip which involved me getting pulled off the world into a different dimension while on my couch and getting stabbed a mummy in bandages/cloth for what seemed to be days. I cant properly explain the reality of what I saw and felt, this was my 6th time experimenting with Mushrooms. It really did a number on my mind, I hallucinated very intensely because I had 6 pre-made capsules and I ate about 1.5grams prior to taking them. Once the capsules dissolved in my stomach I got hit, hard. It was not a fun night, though I learned my lesson! An amazing girl talked me down the high on the phone, though we don’t talk anymore.

Its hard for me to keep connections with people, but its the price of what I am doing. The sound I leave here for everyone who has or will go through something like I have gone through and my mothers future house with white neighbors and a fruity neighborhood watch program are my only priorities.

Life is relative ‘you’ can fuck go yourself
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While mixing ‘The End’ a flood of nostalgia washed over me and my mind started looping
houstatlanta vegas,
houstatlanta vegas,
houstatlanta vegas,
houstatlanta, she just stuck in… Drake- Houstatlantavegas
I almost became afraid of listening to the music because of the power it holds to take me back in time.
Music is so powerful, and forever timeless.

I stopped getting in my own way and turned the memory on and i am so glad that I did. Whenever I listen to Drake I get taken out of myself to a place of yearning. Everything except what I hear stops and my eyes forcibly close.

I know there are others who transcend from hearing and creating sound. I want to tell you to never be afraid of the power you hold. It used to overwhelm me, and if it affected me like it affects you just remember,

You control EVERYTHING.

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