
I haven’t taken codeine for recreational purposes in about half a year now (not true anymore). I forgot the feeling, the warm fuzzy hug which makes you feel like every things going to be okay. Even more important I forgot the sound on codeine, full, rich and thick. Whenever I think of codeine I hear two things in my head,
Bobby Mcferrins improvisation in Montreal http://is.gd/zQcGHh
and James Blakes:The Bells Sketch http://is.gd/wo8fjB
Back on topic, I am just coming out of a deep depression with a large of drug use which was related to my own expectations as an artist and my father leeching off of my mother. I am now using marijuana medicinally at this point and time. Before I was set on my depression/anxiety medication being marijuana I used Cipralex, wellbutrin XL,Amitriptyline, Trazadone and Choloral Hydrate(Fuck). Cipralex and chloral hydrate where horrible as the Cipralex killed any form of emotion I was capable of feeling, this destroyed my music and in turn destroyed me. The latter which I used for insomnia made me hallucinate tall lanky demons.
About halfway through my depression I started using mushrooms until I had a horrible trip which involved me getting pulled off the world into a different dimension while on my couch and getting stabbed a mummy in bandages/cloth for what seemed to be days. I cant properly explain the reality of what I saw and felt, this was my 6th time experimenting with Mushrooms. It really did a number on my mind, I hallucinated very intensely because I had 6 pre-made capsules and I ate about 1.5grams prior to taking them. Once the capsules dissolved in my stomach I got hit, hard. It was not a fun night, though I learned my lesson! An amazing girl talked me down the high on the phone, though we don’t talk anymore.
Its hard for me to keep connections with people, but its the price of what I am doing. The sound I leave here for everyone who has or will go through something like I have gone through and my mothers future house with white neighbors and a fruity neighborhood watch program are my only priorities.
Life is relative ‘you’ can fuck go yourself
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